An Interesting Year

When I think back on this year in the future it will be known as a year of both great loss and gain. It all started with the loss of my friend Robin, continued with the loss of my father. In recent days I lost a friend who actually taught me quite a lot about life in general. Chuck was a drag queen who lived life like it was a game. Not in the way that he wasn't serious about life, more like the plan was to have fun playing and he made sure he did. Of course, having grown up in Saskatoon I was all about doing what the mob said was the right thing. Not always the wrong choice but not the best way to live a life of meaning and depth. Too often instead of doing those things that we know we can or would like to we chicken out because of what we think others might think of us. Chuck, by the way he was known as Lulu and should be remembered that way, anyway he was one of the first people I knew who really didn't seem to give a shit what others thought of him. Standing 6'3" before he put on heels he cut a wide swath through Edmonton's Gay Community. One of those people who everyone knew and some knew well. Can't say that I was one of the priviledged few, just one of the peripherals who got to watch the show. I did once have the opportunity to travel to Vancouver in a car with him and a few others. That had to be one of the stranger weekends I have ever had. I don't bowl often but doing it with a bunch of drag queens is probably the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Its loud, obnoxious and in many ways barely legal I am sure but that still didn't get us kicked out. I don't think I was ever in a louder group before in my life, always too scared, thinking that maybe I should do the right thing, do what is expected of me. Heck it even took me a half dozen frames just to start having fun, the limits we put on ourselves. Lulu did not have those restrictions, he seemed to figure that as long as he wasn't hurting anyone else he could do what he wanted, and he did. That more than anything else is what he taught me, "In living life to the fullest you must be your own judge".
That lesson helped the most when I decided to go back to university, there were enough people thinking it was a waste of time, that if I had listened to them I would not be where I am today. Lulu was one of those people, like Lee who basically said that if I really wanted to do it I should just go for it.
No amount of religion, belief or law will make a bad person good, and no amount of acting out will make a good person bad. Lulu was a good person, I'll miss him, both as Lulu and as Chuck, more important, I'll miss him as my friend.

I Think I'm Ready

As I sit down to write this my hands have started shaking. This is the first post since the eulogy and for some reason I am nervous. So let's catch up, I have not blogged in a year and it is only now that I am ready to start writing again. This last year has been the most interesting one of my life. After the passing of my father, I found myself able to accept being called Mr. C, a moniker I had always left for him. Anyway I continued to work at my regular job and take the odd contract on the side as winter moved towards spring and life was again renewed.

Because of the loss of my friend Robin I had become friends with her brother. When he moved back to New Brunswick with her son, he invited me to come and visit him. I had never been to the East Coast and it certainly seemed like a good idea to me. I was at first going to drive out there with my friend T but he had a bit of a meltdown in early spring and wasn't talking to me for a while. Instead her son's best friend decided he wanted to go out as well so we decided to travel together. So the plan was that when my contract ended we would go, as it turned out we went from Aug 5 to Aug 21 and I had one of the best trips of my life.


I have always been a big fan of Canada and the opportunity to actually see it as an adult seemed like too good an opportunity to miss. The plan was to drive out quickly and to take our time coming back, naturally there would be some places on the way out that we could not miss, just in case. For example, how many opportunities do you have to see the world's largest tomahawk?





Or the world's largest nickel? These are important landmarks on the Canadian scenery, and seem to be almost more Canadian than anything else we saw.



A brief stop at the monument to Terry Fox.











Some 8 foot carvings in Mattawa and the next thing you know, we were past the far extremes of where I had gotten to in my previous Eastward forays.







We finally ended up in New Brunswick, as planned, and had a great time there. Which for me included playing golf every full day I was there. We also managed to get out to PEI, to see Anne of Green Gables house and saw Halifax where we toured the maritime Museum of the Atlantic and I was able to reconnect with an old friend.

Our return trip saw us stopping in Quebec City, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto and Niagara Falls before taking a 20 hour non-stop from Thunder Bay home.

I returned home and prepared for a trip to Vancouver to celebrate the wedding of a friend and fellow searcher. Fun trip, more golf even in the rain and a wedding where the bridesmaids were in flip flops, way too much fun. With that trip I was able to golf on both coasts within 30 days of each other, cool if nothing else.

Interestingly, shortly after I got back from Vancouver I was invited back to where I used to work, new contract, more money who could say no. In the end I have probably had the best year of my life in many ways, I wish my dad had been here to see it but I know he would have been very happy for me, so that works.

So what am I really doing now? Well I have a friend with a school on the other side of town and he needs some help. Actually he is in the hospital and I just want to keep his school open in case he is able to come back to it. This may seem odd given that I have just officially given up my own school. The reality is that I wouldn't even be doing this except that he is sick and I really don't feel that I have much choice but to help out.

There is no question that this is a different group. First off, they are a lot younger than I am used to teaching. I have never taken students under the age of 18 except in very rare cases. These guys have a kids and a youth class, talk about a wake up call. These guys have to work on focus but how do you teach that at that age? Not that it really matters, they are learning even if I don't feel I am having much effect.

Aside from that my muscles are not working the way they should, that's why I stopped teaching really. It would be really nice if at the very least I knew what the heck the problem is. I should be in really great shape as I start the second half century, I certainly spent enough time working out. Did all the things they tell you you ought to do to stay healthy into a comfortable middle and old age, and yet the old bod is letting me down.

Regardless, this is shaping up to be one of my best years ever financially and personally. With a trip to Palm Springs in a couple of weeks and seminars in BC and Edmonton it should be a lot of fun. Won't bore the one reader with all the details but I will be back at this soon.