An Interesting Year

When I think back on this year in the future it will be known as a year of both great loss and gain. It all started with the loss of my friend Robin, continued with the loss of my father. In recent days I lost a friend who actually taught me quite a lot about life in general. Chuck was a drag queen who lived life like it was a game. Not in the way that he wasn't serious about life, more like the plan was to have fun playing and he made sure he did. Of course, having grown up in Saskatoon I was all about doing what the mob said was the right thing. Not always the wrong choice but not the best way to live a life of meaning and depth. Too often instead of doing those things that we know we can or would like to we chicken out because of what we think others might think of us. Chuck, by the way he was known as Lulu and should be remembered that way, anyway he was one of the first people I knew who really didn't seem to give a shit what others thought of him. Standing 6'3" before he put on heels he cut a wide swath through Edmonton's Gay Community. One of those people who everyone knew and some knew well. Can't say that I was one of the priviledged few, just one of the peripherals who got to watch the show. I did once have the opportunity to travel to Vancouver in a car with him and a few others. That had to be one of the stranger weekends I have ever had. I don't bowl often but doing it with a bunch of drag queens is probably the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Its loud, obnoxious and in many ways barely legal I am sure but that still didn't get us kicked out. I don't think I was ever in a louder group before in my life, always too scared, thinking that maybe I should do the right thing, do what is expected of me. Heck it even took me a half dozen frames just to start having fun, the limits we put on ourselves. Lulu did not have those restrictions, he seemed to figure that as long as he wasn't hurting anyone else he could do what he wanted, and he did. That more than anything else is what he taught me, "In living life to the fullest you must be your own judge".
That lesson helped the most when I decided to go back to university, there were enough people thinking it was a waste of time, that if I had listened to them I would not be where I am today. Lulu was one of those people, like Lee who basically said that if I really wanted to do it I should just go for it.
No amount of religion, belief or law will make a bad person good, and no amount of acting out will make a good person bad. Lulu was a good person, I'll miss him, both as Lulu and as Chuck, more important, I'll miss him as my friend.